As writers, we honestly face a lot of stress, especially when we get to the point where we are putting our works and ourselves out into the public. When you have a manuscript that you've completed, edited, proofread, had beta readers go through, proofread again, crafted a query letter for, and prepared to send out into the world, it can be really hard to press the send button. A lot of things start to go through your head as you stare at the carefully written email to the literary agent of your choice. For the most part, I think, writers tend to experience a fear of failure. It's safer to keep your manuscript at home, because what if you send it out and the scary agent doesn't like it? (Don't worry, the vast majority of agents aren't scary :) ) But you start to doubt yourself. You start to doubt your work. You begin to think, What if there's more I need to do to this? I'm sure there's more edits to make... This isn't fit to see the sunshine yet.
My point is, fear of failure can be absolutely debilitating. If you let it overcome you, you will never press that button, no one will ever see your fantastic work, and you will never receive that coveted "yes."
(Something I should add, however, is that it is unadvised to send out an unedited first draft. Or even a second draft. Your work will never be perfect in your own eyes, but make sure it isn't sloppy and unrevised, because agents will be able to tell if that is the case.)
We all reach a point where no more work can be done on our manuscripts, and you simply have to let it go. Accept that it isn't perfect, but trust that it is your best work right now. It just has to be good enough to get you in the door, and from there an editor will help you. But you can never get an editor if you don't take the chance and send it off.
(A favorite poem of mine explains this feeling pretty well: https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/author-her-book)
Above all, remember that agents are people, too. They understand how difficult it can be to let your baby go free into the hands of harsh critics, and the majority of them will do their best to alleviate some of that stress. Most of the time, when you receive a rejection, it will be a form letter. Don't take this personally--agents read through hundreds of queries, and simply don't have the time to personally answer each one. Sometimes you will receive a helpful rejection, detailing specific issues they found in your manuscript, as well as ways to improve them. And then, of course, you can also receive the partial or full request letter, where agents ask to read more of your manuscript so they can decide if they want to represent you. This leads into an entirely different set of problems.
I've recently had two major successes in the literary world. The first came in November 2016, when an agent I had queried for my completed manuscript asked to read the full thing. For about a day and a half, I basically had a sustained, watered-down panic attack, because I realized that my manuscript wasn't ready. To have someone actually want to read the entire novel brought to light a number of issues I hadn't previously realized I had. But I couldn't back out. The agent had clearly seen something in my query and first few pages that she liked, and so maybe she would look past the glaring issues I knew I had. So I sent it off. Getting that request, though, scared me more than I can admit. It scared me more than cold querying agents. Before, when I was simply sending queries, I had anticipated the rejections, and I knew that once it was rejected I could just make adjustments and send it out again. I hadn't really thought about what I would do if I actually had a success like this. So not only was it a fear of failure, it became a fear of success.
My second success came very recently, when the Theater teacher at my high school agreed to produce a play that I had written. Before actually getting that acceptance, I had written and edited the script, performed a cold read with a group of fabulous guinea pigs (you know who you are, and thanks again for being my test subjects!), and even met with the teacher a few times to discuss the logistics of putting this on. But talking about something, fantasizing about something, is far different from actually knowing that it's going to happen. Suddenly, I've been second guessing myself, wondering if the choices I've made have been the right ones, worrying that the students aren't going to want to perform my play and that the audience isn't going to like it, and especially doubting my own ability to get on stage and act in it myself. Suddenly, it's become real. Something becoming real is absolutely terrifying.
Hence, the Icarus Theory. The story of Icarus is from Greek mythology. Essentially, the inventor Daedalus and his son Icarus were trapped in the Labyrinth, and in order to escape, Daedalus creates giant wings for both of them to wear so that they can fly out of their prison. At first, the wings work, and they are free. However, because the wings are held together with wax, neither can fly too close to the sea or the sun, as the spray from the sea will loosen the bonds and the heat of the sun will melt the wax. Icarus doesn't heed this warning, though, and flies too close to the sun. His wings fall apart, and he falls into the sea.
The Icarus Theory, then, has to do with a fear of success and a fear of failure. When you have a passion project you are ready to send out, you become afraid of falling into the sea (failure) and also flying too close to the sun (success), as both are incredibly scary and can possibly end in doom.
The thing to remember, though, is that the Icarus Theory is an illusion. It is a complex we as writers set up for ourselves, but truly it is a farce. Successes and failures don't have to end in doom, and very likely won't. It can be terrifying to risk that leap, but failing isn't the end of the world, and success is something that so many people strive for for a reason. Succeeding can seem like a shadowy world marked with uncertainty and doubt, but when you actually do succeed, it is the most amazing feeling.
How do you get through those hard times, though? The best remedy I have found has been my amazing friends. Whenever I need a pep-talk, they always come through and manage to give me the courage I need. So my advice for you is to find someone you love and trust who can boost your self-esteem and have a nice long chat with them. Sometimes you don't even need to talk about what is specifically bothering you; sometimes just talking with a good friend or family member about anything can make you feel better and ready to take on the world.
My ultimate piece of advice, though, is to just never give up. Things might seem like they will never improve, or you may feel like the world is crashing down around you, but just take a deep breath, calm your mind, and remind yourself that you are amazing and have done amazing things and will do amazing things. Rejection can't stop you, and success is sweet and inevitable.
You can do this, writers!
(And just because I can't say it enough, thank you to all of my fantastic friends who have given me help and support in the past year. I couldn't have done it without you!)
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