Friday Funny Fiction #2

View the first Friday Funny Fiction post to learn how this game is played.
This time I have two short stories for you! Enjoy!


Once again, just like every week, there was a gun held to my head.
And once again, I slid a knife out of the braid in my hair and made my escape.
"Finally!" I whispered excitedly. "I can finally get my revenge!"
I had waited for years for this moment, and now my sister's killer was in reach.
I walked into the room with the five suspects-- "One of you poisoned my sister's pink lemonade, and I can prove it!"
The suspects all looked guiltily at each other. A few sipped their own glasses of pink lemonade, but a few others glanced at their own drinks, wondering if their own was poisoned, too.
It turned out that all of them were and they turned into monkeys.
The monkeys exploded into piles of stinking green goo
that covered the criminal's tracks.
But the detective's sister was now a ghost, and splashed them all with pink lemonade.
The detective looked aghast at the ghost of her sister, and lifted her sticky, dripping arms. She had gotten soaked the most by the pink lemonade.
However, the pink lemonade was actually an acid and was quickly eating away at her skin.
Her mother didn't know what to do, so she called poison control.
And when they got there they found that the girl had vanished. Completely!
She left behind only a glass of pink lemonade. It was poisoned. Then, the detective realized who the real culprit was. (Then again, she was wrong the last five times, so...)
"Oh no! It was actually me who killed my sister!" the detective exclaimed. "Maybe I should have actually learned how to make pink lemonade..."


There once was a dragon named cat.
The cat dragon was the evil fairy's pet.
One day, the cat dragon realized that he had been oppressed by the evil fairy for too long, and so he ate the fairy. He later regretted it, as now he had no one to give him food and shelter.
He decided to get himself another fairy, one even more generous than the last.
Finding fairies is hard, though, so he stopped to ask for directions.
Unfortunately he was unlucky enough to ask a goat herder, and everyone knows that goat herders are horrible about giving directions.
The goat herder directed them into the carnivorous forest.
They were not eager to enter the carnivorous forest, as its name was obviously warning enough, but they took a deep breath and went in.
Venus flytraps snapped at them.
And stole their pants!
And the umbrellas lived happily ever after.